ZERO INCOME TAX FOR WORKING AMERICANS (Forward to your local newspapers once you believe)

Eliminating The Income Tax-Inside The Numbers

2004-06-25T15:06:00.000-05:00

Over the past 50 years the wealth in this great nation has shifted from the middle-class and even more dramatically, from the poor, to the wealthiest 20% of Americans. This is not opinion but fact as shown here by the U.S. Census Dept:

------------------------------------------------------------------
Share of aggregate income
--------------------------------------------
Year Low20% 2nd20% 3rd20% 4th20% Top20% Top 5%

------------------------------------------------------------------
2001---- 4.2 --- 9.70 --- 15.4 --- 22.9 --- 47.7 --- 21.0
1991---- 4.5 --- 10.7 --- 16.6 --- 24.1 --- 44.2 --- 17.1
1978---- 5.4 --- 11.7 --- 17.6 --- 24.2 --- 41.1 --- 15.1
1964---- 5.1 --- 12.0 --- 17.7 --- 24.0 --- 41.2 --- 15.9
1953---- 4.7 --- 12.5 --- 18.0 --- 23.9 --- 40.9 --- 15.7

This is our governments numbers not mine. Clearly you can see that since 1991 the piece of the pie going to the top 5% of American families has increased by almost 4%. That means that the richest Americans have received a whopping 23% raise in relative income over 8 years. So much for Bill Clinton being against the rich! Meanwhile the percentage of America's wealth that trickles down to the bottom 20% in our economy is down to 4.2%, compared to 4.7% going to the Ralph Cramdons of 1953 or the comparatively generous 5.4% making it's way to the Fred Sanfords of 1978. From an egalitarian standpoint 1978 was a highmark for the little guy with the highest % going to the poorest 20%, the highest percentage going to the middle 20% and the lowest percentage going to the highest 20% and more specifically the highest 5%. Very simply put, since 1978 the rich have gotten 39% richer and the poor have gotten 22% poorer while Joe Average has lost 12% of his share.

Since the system seems to be working quite well for the wealthiest Americans it is about time they started to pay for the system. Keeping it simply: there is no need for 80% of Americans to pay any federal income tax when half the economy belongs to the wealthiest 20%. In fact the majority of that top 20% would not see their income tax rate increased at all with a sliding scale putting the heaviest burden on those who can afford it, the wealthiest 5%. These are the Paris Hiltons and Donald Trumps who for the most part inherited there fortunes and will never have to pass up a pair of Pradas or fly coach despite paying their fair share of taxes.

The rich certainly pay a significantly higher wage tax rate than the middle class or poor, a rich person may pay a 14% higher rate on his salary than a middle class wage earner. However that same rich person is probably paying less than 5% on capitol gains. Since most of Americans earning over a million dollars a year get most of there income from capitol gains this means the wealthier you are the less percentage you pay. Since the wealthiest Americans can afford the best tax attorneys (can you afford a tax attorney?) many of these super-rich pay little or no federal taxes because they earn no salaries and their earnings can easily be hidden in thousands of tax shelters. While it may be noble to earn your fortune, tax laws reward those who collect brokerage checks.

By simplifying the tax code to view all income, be it salary or capitol gains the same the IRS can collect more from the top 20% of Americans than it exacts currently from 100% of Americans. Most of this shift only impacts the top 2% of American households, 18% should see little or no difference and 80% of Americans will not pay any federal income tax. This income tax reform is only part of the total solution but it is the most important for the most Americans and it's impact can be felt immediately.

Save Small Business With Universal Healthcare

2004-06-25T09:18:00.000-05:00

Nothing better defines the term "unfunded mandate" than health insurance. At one point there was no health insurance which meant if a person got sick, either they came up with money or they didn't get treatment. This system worked for millennia when healthcare was more a faith-based initiative but with the advent of drugs and technology and eight year postgraduate training things got a bit pricey for the barter system.

Health insurance has been as important to the increase in human longevity as penicillin. It allows hospitals to be built and drugs to be researched because medical professionals and companies know they will get compensated well for their efforts. At first insurance was offered as a perk to keep skilled workers on the payroll, then unions and eventually the government mandated minimum healthcare coverages which we now take for granted. This has been quite an evolution over the past 100 years and it is time for a further evolution to take place that will benefit healthcare providers as well as consumers while lifting this cumbersome burden from American businesses. Unfortunately the cost and time involved in providing healthcare benefits havesdf become a tremendous albatross to small businesses in the USA. Numerous surveys show that healthcare requirements are the single largest reason that small businesses do not take on additional employees.

If you have ever changed jobs from a large corporate employer to a small company you understand the concept of "pooling". That means that a health insurance company will offer a much lower premium to a company with 20,000 employees than one with 20 employees. The theory is that if one person in a 20 person shop gets an illness that costs $3 million dollars that loss equals $150,000 per member versus the same illness in the 20,000 'pool' equaling a $150 cost per member. It doesn't matter if it makes sense to you or I, that is just how it is viewed, or at least how it is justified. Simply put, the larger the pool the lower the exposure and the lower the rate. Logically it makes sense then for the various states in our union to use there populations as "super-pools" that would dwarf the bargaining power of Wal-Mart when negotiating with health insurers. Like any large corporation these states would have open competition between insurers and winnow the competitors to a finite number, lets say six for every geographic section of the state. You would parse the state into sections because various insurers have relationships with hospitals and other healthcare providers so it wouldn't necessarily be efficient for the same insurer to be serving Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. However insurers would have to accept large slabs of rural population which they don't like to digest in exchange for the tender, urban fillets.

The fatal flaw in previous noble but futile attempts at universal healthcare has been the insistence on the government paying for it. This makes Uncle Sam the collection agency for the healthcare industry and the sole arbiter of its services. Rather the US should merely be a facilitator. Each year every American will get a list of approved insurers with a list of available services and prices. They can pay in advance for these services and receive a discount or they can have the annual premium taken from their tax returns. Each citizen can pick and choose to their wishes and the market will be competitive. This will guarantee "universal" healthcare, not "equal" but it will be cheaper for all, especially small businesses and far better for those who are now worst off.

If a person is indigent they will have the option of a base option "safety net" plan with zero cost eliminating Mediaid and Medicare as we know it. This minimum plan would that insure legitimate emergency visits and regular health maintenance visits with licensed nurse practicianers who can then refer them to an MD if they feel there is a legitimate problem. This would actually reduce our current Medicare/Medicaid budget by steering the indigent from emergency rooms to nurse practicianers and preventative treatments while insuring 100% of Americans. Hospitals benefit because their emergency rooms will no longer be clinics full of the uninsured seeking treatment at the last possible stage of illness or injury.

Under this Neo-Economic Plan For Universal Healthcare geography and the size of ones employer will no longer have any bearing on the costs or availability of health insurance. No businesses will have to spend a dime or an hour on insurance benefits and no healthcare insurer or provider can complain that they are capped by anything but their competence.

Eliminating Welfare As We Know It

2004-06-25T09:04:00.000-05:00

Welfare is always a hot topic. As wedge issues go it can be as divisive as abortion or gun control. Unlike most wedge issues however, welfare plays a larger hand in the national budget than even the harshest conservative might think. True welfare reform, personal and corporate, would permanently prune billions from the federal budget and from every Americans tax burden without shifting the expense elsewhere. While saving money this benefits society both short-term and long-term.

Much of the personal welfare system was overhauled in the 1990's to moderate success, but only if success is defined as punishing the poor. Unfortunately "work-fare" is often little more than government subsidized servitude. The government pays a business $5/hour to take a welfare case off the dole. That worker then replaces a non-welfare recipient who may have made $7/hour . Usually the government is stuck providing free daycare worth more than the work-fare job and the administrative cost can equal the pay to the recipient. It is thus employment neutral, cost-neutral (at best) and leaves the "work-fare" recipient stuck in a low wage job that offers no opportunity and little time for educational or vocational growth. The only real beneficiary of this system is the employer who gets an employee.

There is no benefit to reducing the amounts we pay welfare recipients or limiting the time they can be on welfare. We must completely eliminate the concept of paying those who are healthy but do not work. While that may seen cold towards the adults enmeshed in the welfare entitlement trap it allows us to fund the most noble element of the Neo-Economics Plan: Universal daycare for children.

Universal daycare for children should be a national priority. Instead of providing $2000/month in payments and administrative costs to welfare parents on the hopes that some of that money goes to the child the government can very inexpensively credit $800/month to any approved daycare provider. Approved daycare would include a meal, regular medical and dental checkup (paid for through existing Medicare) and even basic hygiene if necessary. No parent will ever again have the excuse that they couldn't work because they have a child to care for. No child need go through the day without food or comfort or companionship.

The government was never intended to subsize businesses any more than citizens and both costs need to be removed completely from the equation. Far larger than the savings in personal welfare to unemployed Americans would be the savings from corporate welfare. Whether we are paying farmers to grow tobacco or paying corporations to outsource jobs, the government is channeling hundreds of billions of American dollars to healthy corporations whose only qualification is well versed lawyers and well placed lobbiests.

The discretionary budget of the USA could be reduced by a staggering 13% by simply outlawing any subsidies or payments to individuals or businesses for which the government does not receive a reasonable product or service in return. Not only would that cover any shortfall that might occur by eliminating the income tax for working Americans, it would allow us to reverse the perverted deficit spending that is guaranteed to torpedo any brief economic revival we may be enjoying at this time.

Clinton, Ryan Bring Resumes Into Focus

2004-06-23T15:36:00.000-05:00

There were two big stories this week involving sex scandals. You've certainly heard of the one involving the ex-president, the intern and the book launch but you may not be familiar with the other one. Jack Ryan had all the makings of a Republican Jack Kennedy, he cruised from Dartmouth to Goldman Sachs where he made a partnership and a fortune with current New Jersey Senator Jon Corzine. He left that life three years ago to become a teacher at Hales Franciscan High School. He is a daily church goer and and all around nice guy. If a Republican was to have a chance with the staunchly blue Illini electorate this was the superman who could do it.

Then again he forgot to list on his curriculum vitae that he liked to take his TV star wife to erotic nightclubs and unsuccessfully attempt to coerce her into public sex. Apparently after trying this at least three times she divorced him and his fortune and his future in Washington. Jack didn't mention this because it wasn't asked and he probably didn't feel it had anything to do with his qualifications for the job of Senator. Jack was right in my opinion and Illinois may have lost it's best candidate for the Senate but he isn't finding any backers these days from either party.

One man who might feel Jack Ryan's pain may be President Bill Clinton. Say what you want about his politics, he may have been the sharpest tool in the White House toolshed in the twentieth century. Many debate his policy but the result was undeniably the most prosperous presidency since Calvin Coolidge. This week he began a press tour to launch his much anticipated book. He is gabbing with virtually anyone who is anyone and isn't FOX. Dominating each interview are a handful of brief interludes with a woman who wasn't his wife. Now if you were his wife that would certainly be news beyond compare but was it germaine to the job that we hired him for?

In the end the job Jack Ryan is in the middle of a selection process for a directorship position with the largest corporation in the history of the world. No, it's not Halliburton but it is the same corporation that hired Bill Clinton to be it's CEO from 1992 - 2000. Running the United States of America is without a doubt the most important job on the planet and it is our duty to make sure the best qualified men are hired. Character certainly has it's place in the merits of executive recruiting but do the sexual indisgressions of a man really reflect on his character in relation to there job performance? Put another way, do you want to know the sexlife of the CEO of your company or do you just want to see competence?

Bill Clinton got to keep his job so getting grilled on the book circuit is no great penance, however Jack Ryan will never get the chance to be all he could be. Not because he wasn't a brilliant business mind, not because he wasn't a truly great altruist who put his money and his time where his mouth was. No, he lost the job because he liked to get kinky with his wife. The real loss is the American people who are starting to run out of competent candidate for leadership in their unrelenting pursuit of moral perfection. Heck, who even looks at the resume anymore, anyway?

White House Braces For Oil Crisis

2004-06-16T11:00:00.000-05:00

If the Bush administration has appeared low key in it's reaction to current oil price spikes and production shortfalls it may be due to internal opinions that this situation is merely the tip of the iceberg. Recent White House documents predict that the political nature of the entire Persian Gulf region is on the verge of a collapse that could cripple the worlds oil supplies for years.

Polling unveiled a couple weeks ago reveals that nearly 50% of the Saudi Arabian population shares some support for Osama Bin Ladin and close to 10% would be okay with him running the kingdom. These numbers would not ad up to much if OBL was a fringe presidential candidate but he is far from that. This poll is showing that a person on the homicidal level of Charles Manson is tracking better with the average Saudi citizen than Ralph Nader is in America. All national security agencies are currently in agreement that this could be a tipping point in the politics of this fervently islamic nation. Because the current regime is so autocratic and the Al Qaeda opposition is so unconventional the intelligence community believes that the tipping point in public support necessary for all out civil war is low and already reached.

Iraq is appearing more unmanagable as the oil conduits are proving impossible to protect from an insurrection that is emboldened by the day. Al Qaeda appears to be recruiting and organizing at a grass roots level from the tremendous pool of disaffected Iraqis who range from Islamists to Baathists to sociopaths. The greatest fear is that a terrorist will successfully suicide bomb an oil tanker while in port.

Adding to this mix is the influence of Iran. Many speculate with only vague anecdotal evidence that Iran's secretive Governing Council may be lending considerable intelligence and material support to Islamists in both Iraq and Saudi Arabia. Should either case prove to be true this could ignite into a "backfire" that could engulf Iran as well. This could lead to a Persian Gulf that is unsafe for oil transport affecting Kuwait, Qatar and the United Arab Emirates as well.

While many have wrung hands and fretted that the U.S.A. should be opening up the Strategic Oil Reserve to alleviate prices at the pump most Americans are unaware that the S.O.R. continues to buy more oil everyday despite record prices. This is because the best petroleum-educated White House ever with the strong okay of the Vice President and the President is convinced oil will soon be in a shortage of crisis purportions.

Huge News In Saudi Ignored

2004-06-11T07:40:00.000-05:00

There was news out of the Saudi kingdom this week that should have been a bold headline and yet it was backpage news in most papers. The government has announced that women will have the right to hold most jobs and own businesses in their own name. Largely due to the hubbub over President Reagan's death this news was largely ignored but it is also an indictment against our "liberal" media that this story didn't get more play.

To put this into perspective lets deconstruct the news. Suppose the USA government had announced that women would no longer have the right to hold most jobs except as teachers and nurses and that any woman who owned a business would have to put it into the name of a male relative. Now, perhaps the meaning of this edict becomes more dramatic. This is very close to an immancipation proclaimation for 50% of the Saudi population. This is a signal to the whole Arab world that it is time to step forward into the twentieth century before we get too far into the twentyfirst.

The reasoning for this policy change was not liberatarian but pragmatic. Unemployment among women in the kingdom is about 95% and there is a serious shortage of skilled workers. With the recent insurgent killings foriegn workers are expected to leave in waves so this shortage could become a crisis very soon. Just as economic realities freed the serfs in Europe and the slaves in America in the 19th century, economic realities freed women to work, own and vote throughout the world in the 20th century. These same pressures are now coming to bear in the heart of the Islamic world.

Just because the royal family has decreed such a monumental opening in their society does not mean that the population will embrace it. Recent polling shows that almost 50% of the country agrees with Osama Bin Laden to some extent. President Bushes call at the G8 summit this week was meet with considerable smug skepticism, particularly from his foil, France's Jacques Chirac. Many believe the Arab culture is simply not ready for universal sufferage. This dramatic experiment in Saudi Arabia could prove if liberatarian concepts can survive in the harse desert environment or not.

The Legacy Of President Ronald Reagan, 1911-2004

2004-06-07T09:06:00.000-05:00

Ronald Reagan was a man ideally designed for a specific place and time. Early in the Primaries of 1980 he appeared to be a conservative Howard Dean at a time when conservatism was as trendy as liberalism is today. He had to sell America on his platform and the buyers were skeptical. Those primaries were drawn out and bloody with a centrist George H.W. Bush accusing Reagan of "Voodoo Economics" as well as religious pandering. In the end the Republican Party went with Reagan because he promised to reclaim the moral honor due the party of Lincoln.

Jimmy Carter was a noble and intelligent man who came to Washington without a clue and left without a legacy. As is always the case with an incumbent, he lost the White House of his own accord. Carter the peacemaker couldn't negotiate with frothing radicals. Reagan the hardliner, using his former CIA director Veep Bush, did get through to the frothing radicals. The irony drips.

Our armed forces immediately were built up to record levels under Reagan. Americans were flush with pride as battlewagons like the U.S.S. Iowa came out of mothballs. The Iowa trained her cannon over our enemies and we once again felt an Empirical invincibility that had decipated in the jungles of Southeast Asia. In the most important military action of the Reagan Era hundreds of American Marines were slaughtered in their sleep in a Beirut barracks. By pulling out of Lebanon with no trace of success we exposed our Achilles heal to two decades of terrorists. Fortunately however Granada and Libya and most of all "Top Gun" followed up that disaster to give Reagan the luster of a conquering hero. The irony drips.

Ronald Reagan is universally thought of as a compassionate giant but his policies disregarded the mentally ill and those afflicted with the disease whose name he would not utter. Eventually he would loose his extraordinary gifts to a disease of the mind that until recently was nameless. The irony drips.

Ronald Reagan was the first president that I ever voted for and he was in retrospect a great president who delivered on his promise to restore America's glory and honor. We don't need to cannonize him as a demigod. It is more impressive to see the man as he was, imperfect and flawed. A president need not be measured by his greatest weaknesses but by his greatest contributions. The presidency of Ronald Reagan was far greater than the sum of its parts.

The Battle Of Pennsylvania Avenue

2004-06-04T13:14:00.000-05:00

Some observations on this monumental Presidential election we are blessed with this year:

-Dems are cautiously giddy over the most recent polling numbers which seem to indicate that Bush may finally have reached the tipping point. A perfect storm of bad news from abroad has finally materialized into a Kerry lead of statistical significance. It must however, be kept in the epic context of this unique campaign. Kerry V. Bush has had so much bombast and drama thus far that it resembles a Civil War campaign. Six months ago Kerry was already wearing the "Also Ran" label behind the dashing Dr. Dean from Vermont however a month into the Primaries the Chancellor of Cheekbone had laid his competition to waste and actually showed a lead over Bush in most polls. Bush was not long in launching the most expensive counterattack in history. Never before has so much been spent so early but by Easter even John Kerry's close relatives had to question why he was such a 'flip-flopper'. April and May have seen yes Bush take a large lead only to give it all back as Kerry may have finally found a label for the incumbent, 'incompetent'. Smart money is betting that this lead will change hands a few more times before November.

-Back in the good ol' days when a Roman officer would let down his command he would literally fall on his own sword, self-impallment being preferable to dishonor. George Tenet was never this White House's favorite operative but when he fell on his sword this week he may have signalled a broader movement. Tenet wasn't Bush's hire and he always seemed to need a week or two of prodding to back up the White House intelligence reverse engineering but in the end he was the good soldier, others may soon follow. Don Rumsfeld appeared genuine when he told congress recently that maybe he would need to pay the ultimate price for his mistakes. Neocon masterplanner, Paul Wolfowitz should also look longer in the mirror these days. Even the estimable Condeleeza Rice, who by virtue of race and gender has had a virtual "Get Out Of Criticism Free" card needs to judge if she is any longer a political asset to the POTUS. Bush won't like to accept any of these resignations but he would have to see the reality of the situation. He can ask his dad how much influence ex-presidents have on policy.

-George W. Bush is still the overwhelming choice among 'Nascar Dads' but John F. Kerry might know more about the sport than he lets on. A very common technique in auto racing is 'drafting', which is when a car pulls right behind another car and literally gets pulled around the track by the lead cars slipstream. While he has been travelling alot and showing face and making statements Kerry seems to be going out of his way not to make news. While G.W.Bush is doing all the heavy lifting these days J.F.Kerrys' numbers are getting all the boost. Perhaps Kerry should just put on an "STP" sponsor jacket and spend the next six months at ballgames and carshows...so far it's working.

-Has anyone ever got more mileage out of off-the-mike, off-the-cuff comments than Kerry? By repeatedly getting caught with his manners down he is starting to develop a personality, that's clever enough to make one wonder how off-the-cuff these comments may really be?

-Not yet vetted and rarely mentioned Veep candidates Gov. Bill Richardson of NM and Gen. Wesley Clark of AR may be the only real difference makers for the ticket. Richardson probably brings with him a small swing state but also a wide and loyal latino population which could make a difference in AZ, FL and numberous other battlegrounds. Clarks presence would turn this into a military ticket weakening Bushs second strongest constituency. It would probably take Jesus to bring in Bush's strongest constituency.

GOP's Rural Problem

2004-06-03T08:30:00.000-05:00

Recent victories for the Democrats in special elections have seen Republicans loose seats in both South Dakota and Kentucky. Both districts are very rural, very religious and very conservative. Tom Delay will have you believe that this is an aberration, strong Dem candidates with lots of money taking fluke contests. He may be right but it flies against the basic message these voters have sent: core Bush constituencies that are very close to the war in Iraq are voting against the Republican platform.

Like many Americans I am from the solid middle class, personally I'm on the upper end of the spectrum. I have no relatives in Iraq or in the military as far as I know. I know of relatives of friends and associates who are there. Most are from the lower end of the economic ladder, one is from North Dakota. Now South Dakota is to North Dakota what North Dakota is to Michigan but for our purposes we can assume that both Dakota are far more rural and conservative than a typical blue state.

My relative of an acquantaince is a lieutenant in the Army National Guard. When he isn't an engineer making a nice high five-figure salary in Bismark ND he is collecting garbage from the streets of Baghdad making a salary in the twenties. "Collecting garbage" isn't a euphemism for arresting bad guys, he is in fact a garbage collector, which is not only a serious waste of an engineering degree it is also extremely dangerous in the land of Improvised Explosive Devices.

In the Dakotas and Kentucky history and economics have worked hand in hand to make the military an integral part of secondary education. Semper Fi is more than a bumper sticker slogan in these parts. You can't swing a pollcat without hitting a yellow ribbon and the commander in chief is expected to act the part. A lot of people here prefer the retoric on Fox News to CNN but they can figure out the facts. They know one old shell with Serin doesn't add up to WMD. They know we aren't seen as liberators anymore. They all know someone personally over there and many have attended memorials.

Certainly there are people in Pierre SD who are cheered by the robust GNP over the past quarters but far more are skeptical about the jobs that have yet to return. Whenever jobs are lost it is usually the rural jobs that go first and this three year slump has been no exception. Tax cuts don't amount to much if you don't make much but $2 a gallon gas cuts deep if you've got a truck and you work 20 miles away.

Republicans now hold 228 House seats to the Democrats' 206 (there is one independent). Democrats technically must net 11 new seats this fall to gain the majority, although the realistic number is 12 because they are not contesting a redistricted Texas seat now held by a Democrat.

Democratic talkers feel poised to pick up the seats of departing GOP Reps. Jennifer Dunn (Wash.), Jack Quinn (N.Y.) and W.J. "Billy" Tauzin (La.). And they hope to knock off Republicans in Connecticut, Colorado, Nevada, New Jersey, Georgia and elsewhere.

Republicans say they will successfully defend most or all of those seats. Meanwhile, in Texas, an aggressive Republican redistricting plan has put five Democratic House members in danger.

Tom Delay can debunk the recent returns in S.Dakota and Kentucky but he could be whistling past the graveyard if the rural military population has become disengaged with the Republican Party.

Al Qaeda's Watching Too Much Fox

2004-05-19T13:36:00.000-05:00

For months western intelligence agencies have been following breadcrumbs to no avail looking for the tender Achilles heel of Al Qaeda. Finally with the help of AT&T and Simon Cowell the Neo-Economics team may finally have put together the puzzle of Al Qaeda's Weak Link.

"Recent voter discrepancies involving the hot Fox reality show, "American Idol" provided the real 'smoking gun' if you will." Quoted an anonymous source in the Justice Bureau.
The voting system has been called into question in recent weeks as contestants who appeared to be front-runners were dumped in favor of others who many viewers have complained were lesser performers. While followup investigations clearly showed that subconscious bigotry rather than technological foul-ups caused the skewed results another unexpected anomaly became evident.

"There was an inordinate number of satellite calls coming from the horn of Africa and the Hindu Kush mountain area. Riyahd (Saudi Arabia) was also a hotspot of voting". Our source then added with a bemused look, "their votes were mostly for the redheaded boy with the terrible voice.

Apparently the Bush reelection team is not overlooking this problem. Fox News primarily paints a picture of a John Kerrey White House that would furnish their underarmed soldiers with cardboard body armor and replace armored Humvees with hybrid Prias' moments before cutting and running like scared dogs. Al Qaeda apparently has got the notion that it would behoove them to see Bush lose. A recently leaked PDB from the CIA bears the cryptic title, "Al Qaeda thinks Kerrey will cut and run like a dog". White house spokemen have denied the PDB has anything to do with cutting, running, Kerry or dogs.

To combat this impression the RNC plans to run $30M in ads througout 17 battleground states with this theme, "Bigger Committment, Bloodier Action, Ineffective Results". Expect to see the new ads out within weeks.

Right Behind

2004-05-19T07:46:00.000-05:00

The President giggled as he tossed the "Fairly Odd Parents" shaped cheeze crackers into his mouth. He did so love the amenities on Air Force One. Suddenly, startled, he looked up as Don Rumsfeld burst into his in-flight office.

"Mr. President, we've got a crisis of unholy proportions on our hands. It appears that thousands...maybe millions of people have vanished from around the world. But mostly from the southern United States."

"Oh my gracious me. Don, does this look like the evil doings of Al Qaeda?"

"Anythings possible Mr. President but the modus operandi just doesn't make sense. We are getting credible reports of people simply vanishing into thin air. Not so much as a theatrical 'poof'. Mr. President, this looks to me to be...dare I say it...a "rapturous" event as your ilk would call it."

"Who you callin' 'ilk' mister? Oh, I get it." President Bush then reflected on his career altering decision to accept Jesus Christ as his savior. No more playboy George, new George was a responsible father and provider. Thirty years of delinquency washed away in a baby pool, what a cool thing.

"Okay, Rummy, if, as you say, this is indeed a 'rapturous' event we need to assess the situation and determine a solid course of action from which we cannot stray. The first and foremost question in my mind is this: Why am I still here? I mean you're still here, that's a given, but me. Oh my god, is anyone in the administration AWOL?"

"Not for certain sir but Colin Powell and Paul Wolfowitz are currently unaccounted for."

"Oh, sure, that suck-up Powell would go, but Wolfowitz, he's a Jew. They don't go do they Don?"

"Not quite sure sir. We have a conference call set up with Rove in twenty, I'm sure he'll be up to speed on that issue. In the meantime sir, if you'd please, we might want to get a better handle on this issue via the ...you know what." The venerable Washington operative nodded to a wet bar in the corner of the Presidents office.

"Well Rummy, I guess if I'm ever going off the wagon now might be as good a time as ever. Call the kitchen and have them send up some limes and hot sauce. That always throws Laura off. Hee hee."

"No, no Mr. President! The super-presidential database computer you had installed secretly behind the bar. You can pull up the "Faith Based Citizenship Profiler" to see if this is indeed a 'rapturous' event or perhaps just mass coincidental spontaneous combustion."

"Yes, yes, of course. I really never did get the hang of that thing. Why don't you log me on and check that, okay."

"Of course, Mr. President." In a flash Rumsfeld rolled up his sleeves and sat in front of the bar. Pulling back on a bobbing head Pelican the wetbar folded back to be replaced with a very stylish flatpanel computer monitor and keyboard. A simple DOS prompt asked him for the presidential password. He carefully typed it in: FRAGGLEROCK.

"Hey Rummy, ask it who got it right. Maybe that's why I'm still here, I sure hope I didn't pick the wrong frickin' denomination. I put a lot of research into that. Check it out right now."

"Okay Mr.President. The Faith Based Profiler can not only tell us who is alive or dead but give us a breakdown by faiths and personal habits." Rumsfeld had doubted the usefullness of John Ashcrofts $500 billion dollar program that serruptitiously implanted brain sensors in every American during the third term but now it was paying off big time in buckets of fun.

"Lets start with Catholics. Any catholics gone 'pffftt'?"

"Here we go. Okay, we have here, let's see, nope, no unnatural departures of Catholic souls on the scope. Ummm, huh, okay here is how it looks so far Mr. President. We have Quakers going on a big scale, then let's see, there's some cultists from Idaho and ...the big winners with several million souls delivered today, Assemblies Of God! That's it, everyone else is S.O.L."

"YES. I knew it all along. I was right and you were wrong all the time. I am the big winner and you all are llllllooooooooooserrrrrrrrs!"

"Houah, Mr. President.

Draining The Swamp Faster: Free Airfare For Al Qaeda

2004-05-18T12:10:00.000-05:00

While driving home with my neoconservative friend George from a disappointing ballgame conversation turned to the disappointing war. Like our mighty Pittsburgh Pirates the U.S.A. had been off to a strong lead but the bullpen made a mess of it. The Pirates eventually had lost that night but the U.S.A. seemed to be mired in extra innings.

"The way this is all unravelling we could find ourselves in a world war with us fighting the rest of the world." I mused facsetiously.

"Maybe that would be a good thing." George stated dryly.

"Yeah." I responded ironicly. Then I focused on not driving off the road.

I have loved the term 'draining the swamp' since it first came out in 2002. In fact I really felt it should have won the Catch Phrase of the Year in '03 but recent events are bringing it's meaning into better focus. For public consumption 'draining the swamp' has been the theory that if you take away ideological lowlands like Afghanistan, Yemen, Sudan and yes, Iraq, you eliminate places where terrorist criminals can pool and cross-contaminate. An unspoken but well known aspect of this policy is the 'bring it on' doctine: if the bad guys want to rush to their deaths in defense of the swamp, let them.

For the better part of a year this draining was a pretty easy business. We swept through neighborhoods every night picking up enemies of the Iraqi National Congress and shipped them off to Abu Ghraib for some 'torture lite'. We weren't having much success winning minds or keeping the streets safe but the 'bad guys' were going down like indian extras in a cowboy movie. Throughout we keep hearing reports of a massive influx of martyrs and money but the resistance had no real substance, no real face and no real numbers.

April changed that. We saw charred bodies dangling from bridges and fanatics carrying pictures of a holy warlord. We stepped up rules of engagement and increased deployments. Finally a prison scandal and a beheaded american youth bring clarity to the reality that is 'draining the swamp'. Draining a swamp is extremely messy business but as long as you've got your boots on you need to finish the job. Hopefully Paul Wolfowitz is taking notes as we speak because now that we've alienated the world and painted a target on Baghdad we might as well use those facts as assetts.

Effective immediately the Baghdad airport should be declared a free port of entry for terrorists with oneway airfares paid by the U.S.A.. Dick Chaney certainly can understand this, if you want to have a decent duck hunt you need enough ducks. Okay so our casualties will go up from the current 3-4 a day to 10-20 but the bad guy count will go up exponentially. As hatred for us grows the influx of terrorists will grow to the point that we can mow them down by the hundreds.

Eventually this will lead to riotous turmoil in Jordan, Saudi Arabia and Egypt. Overt war with Israel will lead to the use of tactical nuclear weapons in Syria. Sharon won't have any more reason to hide them will he? After a decade or so of this it will become crystal clear to right-thinking Americans that the Muslim religion is in fact the root of this evil. In "Operation Up Your Mohammed" US air forces will level virtually every mosque it can locate on Yahoo Maps. Faith based re-education camps will be set up all over the world to provide 90 minute "FastTrac to Jesus" classes culiminating in a baptism and voter registration.

And then the Archangel George can finally wing up to heaven satisfied. I hope I didn't spoil the ending for anyone reading the "Left Behind" series.

Save Social Security-Cut Your Contribution

2004-04-23T11:00:00.000-05:00

To save social security from the anticipated decay of benefits and it's eventual doom is far simpler than anyone wants to believe. It requires a two pronged approach: a lower flat SS tax and more beneficial management of investments. Not only will this approach make our most important social safety net strong for the long term it will have the short term effect of energizing the stock market and improving bond yields.

Most people are under the blind assumption that Social Security is a flat tax with no table or deductions however that could not be farther from the truth. All employees start with a base tax of 6.20% but if you are unfortunate enough to be self employed it jumps to a punitive 13.85%. That in itself is borderline criminal in it's unequal taxation but it gets worse. There is a cap on the amount of income that can be taxed, currently $87,900, which means that while a bus driver making $41,000 is paying 6.20% an attorney making 174,000 is only paying 3.1%, and the millionaire CEO that attorney represents, while making $1,740,000 is only paying .31%! I don't like to use exclamation points but that needs overemphasized: THE BUSDRIVER PAYS 6.20% AND THE MILLIONAIRE CEO PAYS .31%!!

The answer is to institute a flat tax across the board that cuts the taxes of 80% of Americans down to only 3.5%. The Social Security Trust Fund will then increase revenue by tapping into the 49% of the nations earnings going to a group that now pays less than there fair share. The top 2 percent of our nations households pay less than 1 percent towards Social Security, that is why the numbers have never added up before, that is why they finally add up in the Neo-Economics model.

The flat tax alone will be enough to make Social Security forever solvent, however as this becomes a larger and larger segment of the economy it is imperative that this money be put back into the economy via a diverse portfolio of domestic equity and bond markets. Fund managers should be able to bid on chunks of this reserve on a best yield basis with managers failing to meet yields receiving smaller and smaller chunks. A minimum of 500 fund managers should have access to the Social Security pool to insure that a robust competition always exists.

While this management would certainly outperform the current Social Securities market to the benefit of all retirees, this diversified management will also greatly benefit the entire USA economy from the moment it is announced. Obviously a tremendous amount of cash will be directly invested into US markets over a short period of time creating an instant bull market of unprecedented strength. Less obvious is how the cash it will draw down from the securities markets will cause yields to go up, making investments in securities more profitable.